


I liked you always (and now I like you even more)

by Florchis



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Forming a family, Implied miscarriage, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, MCU Kink Bingo, Parenthood, Relationship Discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 04:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15900783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florchis/pseuds/Florchis
Summary: The different stages of Hunter and Bobbi discussing having a baby.





	I liked you always (and now I like you even more)

The first time they try it, they are young and reckless.

("Don't try to tone it down, we were plain stupid."

"You take the romanticism out of everything, Barbara."

"You think recklessness is romantic? Why did I marry you again?"

"Dunno, but you did it twice. And the first time you trip with a rock, it’s the rock’s fault. The second time you trip with the  _ same  _ rock, it is  _ your  _ fault.")

They were also a tiny bit drunk, and it seemed obvious that they had to put the theoretical decision into practice right away. The next morning, hangover and sore, they decided that they were too young for this and that they had been indeed stupid-slash-reckless on the making of the decision. They were in no way ready to face everything that raising a child entailed, or even to settle one of the many arguments it would arise between them.

They discarded the night of passionate, unprotected sex they had between them as just one of the many stupid-slash-reckless anecdotes they had lived together.      

(When her next period came late and very heavy, both things unusual for her, Bobbi refused to think about the possibility of what that could mean. They have changed their minds, and there was no reason to mourn something that could have been, not when they both have decided they didn’t actually want it and also didn’t have any responsibility in preventing it.

She never told Hunter about her suspicions, because they didn’t pass The Triple Filter Test: she wasn’t sure they were true, they weren’t good, and they definitely weren’t useful. 

Besides, no matter how much he pretends to be though, he has the soft heart of a tiny bird, and she will protect it at all costs.)

* * *

Hunter is the one who brings the topic back, ten years after the first time, and six months into their second marriage.

Bobbi is wary because she has not forgotten about the whole endeavor of the first time, and sure, this time they are not so young anymore, and at least they are not drunk, but still.

But Hunter has done actual research, no matter how much he tries to mask it as lewd or dismissive comments, and that added to the fact that he is the one to bring back the discussion, makes Bobbi sit and actually listen to him.

If she has to be honest, she hasn’t given that much thought to parenthood during the last decade. Sure, she has cooed over babies and assisted politely to her friends’ baby showers and gifted books and gender-neutral toys back and forth for all of them. But it has never felt like a fire waiting to be ignited inside her, a repressed desire she was choosing to ignore. Instead, it was just a vague possibility, something that could happen to her, but without any active incentive on her part.

She tells all of that to Hunter but leaves out the part where there is a ball of absolute terror blocking the mouth of her stomach. Sex is one of the many responses she has to panic, and considering the caliber of the discussion, she figures it will go unnoticed the real reason why she starts taking her clothes off.

Until Hunter stops her, which, honestly, might as well be an absolute first.

“Not now.” His voice is soft but his eyes are even softer, and Bobbi feels like crumbling between his arms, but she doesn’t. “Let’s not make the same mistakes twice and sleep on the decision this time, okay?”

Bobbi only nods, because all her other words are stuck to her throat.

* * *

She dreams about a little girl, golden locks and hazel eyes, swinging in a hammock higher and higher. She is afraid, afraid that the little girl won’t be able to control her flight, afraid that the little girl won’t know how to find her footing on solid ground once again. She is afraid, but she has no voice, panic rising in her throat, and her hands seize against her vocal chords, useless.

She wakes up agitated and drenched in sweat.

“Bob, are you okay?” Hunter’s voice is rough with sleep but concerned all the same, and Bobbi tries to reply to him, but her voice fails her once again, and she just waves a dismissive hand on his direction.

That doesn’t seem to appease him, because he strokes her back up and down two times, and when he gets no further explanation from Bobbi, gets up and stretches his arms behinds his ears.

“I will get the tea started, yeah?”

They don’t drink tea, ever. Not that they don’t like it, but it is never too late for coffee and at the same time too early for beer for them to have to fall onto needing tea. Except for times like this.

Bobbi nods and hugs her knees against her chest.

Hunter brings back two cups full of Pu Erh, sweetened with honey, and places them on her nightstand before sitting in front of her, legs crossed.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”

His hand finds his way onto the side of her knee, and Bobbi follows hypnotically the movement of his thumb rubbing soothing circles on her skin.

“I don’t think I can have a baby.”

Hunter frowns, and Bobbi is not sure if him not going into a frenzy calms her down or strings her up even higher.

“Okay. Are we talking physically or-?”

“No,” she blurts out. “I’m not saying I am biologically incapable, I don’t know that, I am just saying that I don’t think I can handle it.”

She looks up to watch his reaction, and to her surprise, there is a tiny smile on the corner of his mouth.

“Bob, I don’t think there is something on this world that you can’t do if you put your mind to it.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Bobbi flaps her hands in distress, and Hunter removes his own from her knee, trying to respect her personal space. “I can barely stand the idea of something happening to you, and I _know_ that you are more than capable of protecting yourself. I don’t even like having a partner when I’m working, knowing that there is one more thing whose safety falls on me. How am I supposed to deal with being responsible for an entire life, fresh and, and, and  _ useless  _ from the beginning?”

Hunter squeezes her ankle, and only then Bobbi notices that she is hyperventilating, and tries and fails until she accomplishes to time her breathing with the squeezing rhythm Hunter is setting. She is still trembling like she just ran a marathon, and there are tears on the corner of her eyes, and fuck, can’t he see what she means? She can be sharp as a knife when it’s her life on the line, but only hers.

“Okay.” Bobbi searches his eyes, surprised, and Hunter is, still, smiling softly at her. “This is your call, Bob. If you ever feel like touching the issue some other time, we will, but otherwise, I won’t bring it up again.” He pushes playfully at her hip, and Bobbi lets herself be sprawled on the bed, still too shocked to fully process what is going on. “Now drink your tea so I can cuddle the fuck out of you like you deserve.”

* * *

Whether she likes it or not, the idea never fully leaves her mind after that night.

Sure, her fears are still running skin-deep, but for the first time, there are also other feelings on the mix. Like watching Hunter talking a nap on the couch and realizing the crook between his neck and his raised arm would be the perfect spot for a baby to take their own nap. She has the whole image formed on her mind until she catches herself and leaves hastily before the idea can take root in her mind.

Only that it’s too late.

It takes her less than four days to realize that the first time, her young-and-stupid-self agreed to the idea because he loved her. But now, ten years later, she wants to say yes because _she_ loves _him._ Because he backed off when she voiced her fears. Because he will be an amazing father, and she wants to be the one to experience it with him.

Because she wants to settle the arguments and do the hard work with him.

It takes her six months to realize that she has never before allowed her fears to be a rock on the road instead of just one more proof that she is  _ better than them. _

(She does not tell him, though. Instead, six months and three weeks after he brought the topic back, she drags him by the collar of his t-shirt and ravishes him against the door where they will argue what can be considered a healthy baby diet. 

On the couch where they all will have family movie nights and Hunter and the baby will promptly fall asleep and leave her to take care of the whole mess.

On the bed, for good measure.

Only once she has left him panting with a hand holding his chest down, and a _Bob, we are not that young anymore_ on his lips, she unceremoniously drops an unopened box of birth control pills on top of his chest, and can not even pretend to not laugh with him when Hunter lifts her up and takes her for a spin that he is not really capable of doing.)

**Author's Note:**

> This fills the "Impregnation" square in my [ MCU Kink Bingo Card.](http://florchis.tumblr.com/post/175123302736/mcu-kink-bingo-card-2018) I'm accepting prompts for it and for [ my MCU Bingo Card](http://florchis.tumblr.com/post/174965037436/this-is-the-temporary-masterpost-i-will-be-using) too. 
> 
> If you want, you can look for some inspiration in my [Visual Prompts List](http://florchis.tumblr.com/post/174316812926/visual-promptswriting-references) (warnings for NSFW descriptions and links that take to NSFW pictures).  
> **  
> This story is part of LLF Comment Project, whose goal is to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Prompts
>   * Image reactions
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> This author replies to comments (but it might take a while). If you'd rather not get a reply, please add *whispers* to your comment.



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